But recognize that allowing your partner to take charge of responsibilities is more important in the long run than getting everything done as fast as possible today. There will be some inefficiencies at first, and that will annoy you. For example, organizing the laundry into colors helps preserve your delicate whites cleaning the dishes immediately after use avoids a buildup later, and the buildup is what stresses you out.Īsk him to care about the things you care about, as a way he can show you love.Īdditionally, learn to let go where possible. Instead, explain to him why you care about a certain way of doing a certain task. If something falls short, try not to criticize him or argue with him about what the "right" way is to do things-that will cause defensiveness and frustration. That can look like constantly criticizing the way your partner does certain chores, swooping in to "fix" his completed work, or monitoring him as he does them because you don't trust him to do it "right." These behaviors discourage your partner from being actively engaged in the work and taking initiative.
Gatekeeping can be a big barrier to an equal division of labor. Explain that to your partner, and give him the opportunity to learn and get good at it too if he's not already.
#MAKE HUSBAND CLEAN ME AFTER SEX HOW TO#
You've been taught how to do it, you've been taught to care about doing it, and you've now been doing it for so long that you are very good at it. Ladies, you're not naturally better than your man at doing house stuff. For example, studies have shown that women are not better multitaskers than men are 1 and that men's perceptions of how messy a room is 2 are virtually the same as women's perceptions of that room. Pepin's own research has demonstrated that people still believe women are better caretakers and homemakers than men are, even though other research has debunked the myth. Couples will actually "amplify personality differences, which are often based on myths about gender differences."
But now that more women are becoming the breadwinners and couples typically share financial responsibilities in the household, she says we've reached for another excuse: personality. You've probably heard some variation of this: "Well, women are just better with kids!" Same with cleaning and organizing, and meal prep, and so on.īack in the day, we used to say women did more housework because men were the primary earners for the family, Pepin explains.
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